Never Have Another Bad Day - Settle for more

In the News

May 6th, 2007
Gardening and good living - How to "pick your passions" and get the most out of life
By Rebecca Rule

Gardening and good living
How to 'pick your passions' and get the most out of life
By Rebecca Rule
May 06, 2007

Never Have Another Bad Day: A Common Sense Guide to Laughter, Inspiration, and Happiness
Judith Rutty Godfrey, Chestnut Press

The New Hampshire Gardener's Companion: An Insider's Guide to Gardening in the Granite State
Henry Homeyer, Globe Pequot Press

Remember the Rolling Stones: You can't always get what you want — but sometimes you get what you need? On this damp day in the midst of this damp spring, two titles seem to be just what I need. And sure enough, once I open the covers, they are. My daffodils have popped but the vegetable and herb gardens are soggy. Even the lawn's too soft to rake. But Henry Homeyer's "The New Hampshire Gardener's Companion" gets me dreaming of possibilities.

Homeyer, a gardening columnist and master gardener from Cornish, writes with the crisp practicality of a fresh picked cucumber. No peeling necessary. Just open your mouth and take a bite. Crunch! "If you want flowers in vases all over the house," plant some, he says. Don't worry about garden design. Just plant them in the vegetable garden in full sun and cut at will.

"If you are busy and likely to forget about your plants ... buy a timer" to take care of watering. However, if you can't get "rid of the blinking numbers on your VCR or microwave, buy a mechanical one," instead of electronic. The timer attaches to the faucet where your hose hooks up. "Buy the simplest timer you can." Avoid those that can "only be operated by nuclear physicists or MacArthur Fellows." Homeyer bought one of those once, and it didn't get much use.

"If you're tired of buying sterile potting mix and those little plastic six packs ..." try soil blocks made of soil, compost and minerals. You can buy them or make your own. Homeyer explains exactly how to make your own. He explains exactly how to do lots of things, from building a hoop house (a homemade greenhouse) to starting seedlings guaranteed not to keel over before they get their second leaves.

It's all (or most) of what you need to know in order to garden successfully in New Hampshire. What's not here, he tells you how to find with lists of resources — cooperative extension centers; public gardens to visit; seed, equipment and plant suppliers; helpful publications. This book is going directly into my gardening basket, so I can carry Henry Homeyer and his advice in my own garden all summer. Weeds, slugs, horn worms, and woodchucks beware — I've got Henry on my side.

The other book I didn't know I wanted but found out I needed is "Never Have Another Bad Day," by Judith Rutty Godfrey. This slim "Common Sense Guide to Laughter, Inspiration and Happiness" is as delicious and satisfying as a cherry tomato still warm from the sun popped directly into your mouth — make that a handful of cherry tomatoes popped in one after another.

Godfrey, who lives in Pembroke, makes a living as a life coach. She doesn't "fix" clients; she helps them get out of their own way and create an "ideal" life. To me, that means a happy life. Mostly happy. As happy as possible. "Never Have Another Bad Day" includes her best client advice along with supportive observations and stories, inspiring quotations and questions for readers to ponder as they connect what Godfrey says to their own situations.

The question that got me is the last one in the book: "What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?" Yup. If you can figure that out, you'll be on the road to figuring out how you want to spend your days and your energy — how you want to be with other people. How you want to be for yourself.

We are, Godfrey reminds us, human beings, not human doings. In her chapter "Take Off the Cape: Being a Super Hero Isn't So Super," she suggests that just because you can, doesn't mean you should. ("Should" is a loaded word in this context.) You have the capability, the will, and the good ol' smarts to get the job done — and not just get it done, but get it done perfectly! And of course nobody else could possibly do it as well as you. So you're the first one to raise your hand ... , to plunge full tilt into the project ahead, which culminates in a grand crescendo of a job well done, plus accolades up the yin yang. ... That cape is simply amazing!

But sometimes the cape needs to spend alone time in the closet. Pick and choose your projects and passions. "Whenever you say 'yes' to something, you are saying 'no' to something or someone else," she says. "Perhaps it's you!" With confidence and good humor, Godfrey makes the case for an examined life, addressing the pressures of now, dealing head-on with the bad stuff, but letting the good stuff take its rightful place as well.

There's this ridiculous belief alive and well in our society that in order to have a great day any day we should never feel sadness or pain or any of the so-called negative emotions. That is really a whole bunch of baloney. Many of you are probably spending a good share of your energy keeping down those "bad" emotions. Yeah, they stink!

But the "bad" emotions are part of life. Part of who you are.

Consider that those nasty, rotten feelings are here to teach you something. Ah ... I know you'd rather not have to painfully learn another blessed thing in your whole entire lifetime. Such is not the nature of nature. Ever try to tell a plant not to grow? Ain't happenin'.

I'll take the advice of Judith Godfrey into the garden with me, too — her admonitions to think positively, act kindly, to be true to yourself, listen to your body and intuitions. With Homeyer's help, my cukes and tomatoes will grow. With Godfrey's, maybe so will I.

For more on Judith Godfrey, visit her Web site, at www.forestviewcoach.com.